Manalia, the sole performer of the both aptly (and hilariously) self-appointed "dream-punk-dance-music/shoegaze screamo" act called: I've Never Been Here Before; chose to share on her Bandcamp that "shyly, shyly" is what a sibling of hers used to call butterflies, a symbol commonly associated with the transgender community. If you don't immediately find that emotionally devastating—all context of her music considered, you can eat your own shorts. (excerpted from 'The Closed Eye Experiment' ).
It isn't often that you get an artist who just blows you away with overt, unconcealed lyrics and themes of being transgender. (That's a statement I resent, yet still find true.)
Manalia leans heavily into the very real struggles and desolation that trans people face daily—Not speaking to family or loved ones due to living truthfully, being the abject of hate and cruelty in social settings—the list could go on for more pages than anyone would be happy to see—
"You dont go to sleep and think
Ill become a different thing
Its more like the knocking
Just starts to make sense
You dont have to let her in
Shell still die in the end
But her hands are soft and sweet
When she walks into your house
She takes a seat
I hope your body takes exactly the shape you want"- "i am just a grl"
"Scary/umbrellagrl" struck a particularly tender chord with me, as it features the line "I'm not scary" repeated more and more frantically, until the ambush of the hyperpop/electroclash-esc instrumentals descend in perfect chaos.
Other songs like "Manalia" and "grl (I can't see u)" echo the same devastation, yet somehow also a perfectly overwhelming sense of triumph. The rawness of her style highlights so much about being transgender in a blunt, in-your-face way, that even if you aren't paying attention to the lyrics, you're gonna get what she means—The sheer emotion alone conveys its own message.
Also—Nalia is a master of expression—and the music she sets herself to is a beautiful nightmare in musical form. Nalia's physicality is actually something I can't get over. Not only is it highly expressive, but it's very instinctual and fluid. The way that she punctuates her movements— (which range from sporadic and unruly- to just plain functional—) is ultra-personal and serves to emphasize the instrumental elements as well as introduce the element of dance, further connecting her to the audience. Something that she did two or three times was actually tear herself off the stage, and jump into the crowd, to mosh with us—fucking bonkers—she ended a song by DEATH DROPPING IN THE PIT. I ascended—I did. I died, went to heaven, saw Manalia's face, and came back. (lol).
Having interviewed and DM'd back and forth with Nalia, I would just like to say, that she has been the kindest, most obliging, and most responsive gal the whole way through. She's got ideas and thoughts and easily expands on snippets in a forward, engaged, fashion.
These are staples of her art and craft. Her outright demeanor and creativity are showcased just as unmistakably in the album art she chooses to use, and the way she decides to tell her stories. (You have some concept album lore to look forward to y'all!)
(Pictured below, A sketch of the demon, Cherary, for an upcoming project of hers).
In an interview I nabbed with Nalia, she told me she rated this show a good eight or nine out of ten. Having played about forty shows over the span of a year at the time, it sounds to me like this one killed preeeeeeetty darn hard. (Note; before playing solo, Nalia used to perform with another local Sac act, Nick Pants!!)
Her favorite song to play live right now is "It's Raining Again", as it's her oldest song, and people still respond very positively to it.
Now, according to Manalia, her best song to play live right now is "grl (I can't see u)", which makes sense from how reactive the crowd was—
I cannot stress enough how intense and beautiful of an opening act I've Never Been Here Before was. A master of both hardcore and acoustic instrumentals/performance, I expect absolutely massive things from her in the future.
You can find her on Instagram @iveneverbeenhereb4
And everywhere else through her linktree!
Thanks for the read!!
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